Come On! Pick-Up Lines

"Baby, your legs must be tired cause you have been running through my mind all night!" Sound familiar? How about this one, "I may not be Fred Flinstone, baby, but I can still make your bed rock!"

Ah, a well-delivered (if there is such a thing) pick-up line must sound like sweet poetry to men on the prowl on a Friday night. Either that, or they all must really enjoy that nice, resounding slap in the face they get after trying these corny come-ons out on such sophisticated, classy women as ourselves. We all know that the first impression lies in our appearance, but what comes out of the mouth in those first few seconds tells us if the guy is a dud or a stud and worth the effort of further conversation. Using pick-up lines to score, or as I like to call them, Random Acts of Sleaziness, is the equivalent of telling us you've brought condoms with you on the third date--it's offensive in its obviousness.

My friend and I were once approached by a cocky guy in a crowded bar. He swaggered over to us, turned around, stuck out his rear, and asked us if his butt looked big in his jeans. I told him that not only was his butt big, but that it was taking up way too much room in such a tight space. The guy actually looked shocked that such a lame pick-up line crashed harder than Arsenio Hall's career (Who? Exactly). What was unbelievable to me was that he walked away only to try the same line out on some girls next to us only a few seconds later, to what seemed to be about the same result, judging on how much his big butt jiggled as he ran out of the bar. Another came up to me, licked his hand, rubbed it over my arm, and then told me I needed to get out of my wet clothes with this leering look on his face. I then proceeded to tell him he needed to get out of my space before I called the bouncer over to do it for him.

So why do guys resort to this oh-so-pathetic way of getting our attention? I'm assuming because we're worth the effort, but if so, don't we deserve a little more than a pre-written, pre-delivered, more-often-than-not drunken attempt at charm? I once heard a big flub of the, "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven" pick-up line. Instead, this poor guy drunkenly asked the girl if it hurt when she fell on her face from Heaven--after that little blunder, it looked like the guy fell on his face on his way to Hell.

Perhaps these guys are so lacking in self-confidence that they feel they need the support of a pick-up line to break the ice. Regardless of the girl's reaction, chances are it will elicit some kind of a response, and I'm just willing to bet that guys like those odds.

Unfortunately for us, there is no sure-fire way to avoid a Random Act of Sleaziness. By the time a guy approaches and opens his mouth, it is already too late. The key here, I think, is education. The next time a guy comes up to you and asks, "what's your sign?" tell him it's Stop, then tell him to just be himself. It's very sexy to see a guy come up to you with the confidence to strike up a conversation without hiding behind some cheesy line you've heard a million times before. And let's face it, we girls all have tired legs--not from running through his mind all night, but from running away from that oh-so-sleazy pick-up line we just can't seem to avoid.